Holding ourselves and others with Highest Personal Regard is a core principle in Zero Balancing. We emphasize this principle in all our courses and ideally embody it in our interactions with colleagues and clients. But what is Highest Personal Regard exactly? And is it truly possible to maintain this perspective toward ourselves and others at all times? Let’s have a cup of tea or a glass of wine together and talk about it!

The Core Zero Balancing Study Guide 5th Edition defines Highest Personal Regard as “holding another person in high esteem without judgement or comparison.” 

So we might start our inquiry with defining “high esteem” and “without judgement or comparison.” 

What is high esteem? 

What does it mean to hold someone without judgement?

What if someone is behaving badly? 

Does the term “behaving badly” imply judgement? 

Are there actions that can be universally defined as bad that don’t involve judgement? 

What does it mean to hold someone without comparison?

With what might we be comparing them? Other people? Standards of behavior?

Over the years, like so many of us in the Zero Balancing community, I’ve strived to embody the principle of Highest Personal Regard, living the practice with my students, clients, colleagues, family and friends. It’s the way I approach meeting anyone new. It’s the way I’d like to be approached. My Highest Personal Regard is theirs to lose. 

Repeating that last sentence: my Highest Personal Regard is theirs to lose. Can one lose this? Are there times when it’s not possible to hold someone with Highest Personal Regard, without judgement or comparison as it’s described in the Core ZB Study Guide? 

What if someone hurts you? What if someone is intentionally aggressive and seeks to cause harm to you or others? Are they deserving of high regard? 

Considering the realities of everyday life, additional questions arise. 

Does everyone deserve high regard?  

Can you hold someone in high regard if you don’t like them? If yes, how did you accomplish it? 

Can a person lose your high regard? If so, can they get it back?

Here’s another scenario…If your intent is to hold someone with high regard, but your instinct, your donkey, is sending out warning signals this might be an unsafe person, which should hold sway? Do you ignore your instinct in favor of the idea of high regard? Is high regard the same as trusting someone? Can one exist without the other?

Lastly, turning the focus to ourselves…

Is holding yourself with the Highest Personal Regard easy? Difficult? Both?

Can you lose your own high regard for yourself? 

I hope you find this process of investigation worthwhile!  Let me know your thoughts!