I’ve been thinking about presence lately. We talk about the importance of being present when giving a Zero Balancing session. But what does that actually mean? What goes into being present? And what might get in the way? Let’s have a think about presence together over a glass of wine or a cup of tea.

Some of my thoughts about this began during a recent Argentine Tango lesson.

In Argentine Tango, there is no set pattern of steps. The leader, in this case my male teacher, can lead any step at any time, and the lead can come from any part of his body—in addition to his hands he might use his thigh, his foot, or the way he shapes his entire body. As the follower, I need to tune in with my whole body and be ready to respond without anticipating what may be coming next. In other words, I need to be fully present in each moment. 

In this lesson, when I placed my attention on listening with my whole body, something unexpected happened. I became fully present. Understand, I thought I had been present all along. But this time I was even more present. I discovered a protective barrier I didn’t know was there. That was the first surprise: stumbling upon this hidden obstacle to presence.  

The next surprise was that I felt some fear and consequently the desire to retreat to what felt like a safer distance. This despite knowing my teacher well and trusting him implicitly. He is unfailingly kind, encouraging and non-judgmental. Yet I still felt a little exposed. I wondered: What was it in me that led to my feeling less safe? And I had a choice to make. Retreat to the familiar or remain present and fold my feeling of fear into my experience. I chose the latter. 

My reward for this small bit of courage was huge. Reading his lead was much easier. I was more with him. It elevated the whole experience. I was fully immersed and in the flow with him and the music. It was really fun!

I recognized this body-felt sense, this signature, of being less present. It was quite familiar. And I could recall giving ZB sessions with this same body-felt sense. Again, I’m quite present when I give a ZB session. Yet, based on my experience in Tango, I must have more presence available, right? That recognition gave me something to wonder about. My own continuum of presence was greater than I thought. How might this discovery change my ZB sessions? If I experienced that same sense of fear, could I stay present with both my fear and my client? And where might we go together as a result?

Join me in pondering these questions: 

Can you define presence? Is it easier to define not being present? 

What is the relationship between presence, safety, and connection? 

How do you recognize whether you are present? What are your feedback signals or signatures? 

What senses do you use to determine your level of presence? 

Are you aware of maintaining a safe distance? 

Which feels more familiar to you, feeling more present or relatively less present? 

Have you experienced thinking you were present and discovering the potential for more? What did you discover about yourself as a result? 

Have you discovered any obstacles that prevent you from being present? 

What emotions arise when you are more present? 

Have you experienced similar situations, in which your assessment of your situation is safe, yet you still feel somewhat unsafe? If yes, what might be happening?

Where are you on your own continuum of presence? 

If you could increase your presence, how might it change your ZB sessions? 

I hope this is a fruitful exploration for you!